Please Help Denise Kick Cancer's Butt!

This is my sister Denise. She is one of the toughest, most awesome people I know. Please help her kick cancer's butt an possibly have children in the future! Please and thank you, isn't it nice I wasn't raised in a barn? 😊

What A Pain In My... Back?!?

I would just like to share a fundamental truth in this world. One I was unaware of until I had the misfortune if encountering it. So here goes.

Back pain is the devil. 

I realize that I work in healthcare, so it is a malady that is very likely to happen to me. I just figured that the pattern of occasional aches and pains with a "throw back out" every few years would just continue indefinitely. I forgot to add in the fact that I'm no longer 22 and agile as hell. 

I'm honestly lucky if I can keep up in a day. I am a single mom to a VERY high-energy 3 1/2 year old. I work full time nights in a children's hospital. We scurry from preschool to dance class like nobody's business, sometimes directly after working all night. I am cursed with fibromyalgia. This, on top of everything else, is seriously putting a damper on my Superwoman status. 

It started getting worse a few months ago, to which my doctor responded with anti-inflammatories and a muscle relaxer. He figured it was likely arthritis combined with wear and tear. 

All was well until my stupid back decided to up the ante. For the past week or two, things have gotten bad. Like, 'leave work early' and 'break out the heating pad at 8 am' bad. I swear, I could take down a convicted felon on just pain level aggression alone. Eek.

I called the doc last week in pure agony, he called in a new script that leads me to the second fundamental truth in life.

Prednisone is the second devil in charge. 

I can't sleep, can't eat, feel as bloated as a hot air balloon constantly, and have to try to maintain my cool so I don't kill people due to the 'roid rage. To add insult to injury, it has done absolutely nothing for my back pain. If anything, I'm even more miserable. 

I have an appointment tomorrow, lets hope no one has the idea for more steroids. Things could get real ugly. 

As if they haven't already. Wish me luck!

Mr A to Z!!!

Spent a great night with my best friend in Muncie watching my absolute favorite, Jason Mraz! He played with a group called Raining Jane. I never thought anyone except Toca Rivera could keep up with him, but they were awesome!

It was an amazing acoustic show and I heard new music, old music, and stuff that broke my heart, and made it soar.  There is no one in the world that has his blend of INCREDIBLE! It's like he can read right into your heart and mind. It's music and magic all rolled up into one. Not to mention, he's pretty hot too :)

Thanks for an amazing night! This weary mama needed that! 

No More Soccer Mom Mobile!

Traded in the soccer-mom mobile and got myself a lovely Honda Accord! Yay! It's a new to me 2005. For the first time in my life I have a sunroof and heated leather seats. Nothing quite like a toasty bum! 

It was very nice to not have a car payment, but I'm pretty sure I was in that window of time before the old car got too busted up to get any trade in value for it. Not like I got a ton anyway, but enough to make it work. 

Yay for "new to me" car!

Ding Ding, The Sleep Wars Shall Commence!

I have a child that hates to sleep.

She's been this way since birth, but had me tricked for a while with easy bedtimes and nap times. I was stoked that, after so much struggle, she had finally chosen to be easier to get to sleep.

Really, she just did that so that when she stopped being so easy about it not long after, it would make the stalling and arguments all the worse. I swear, you would think that I never feed her by how "starving" she is come bedtime and that she has the bladder of an ant by her pleas for another potty break. I know that this is a tale as old as time for parents and kids, but I really just want Mr. Sandman to hook me up with the sleepy sprinkles so she could actually get to sleep sometime before Jimmy Fallon comes on. She seriously will just talk and sing to herself for hours on end and wake up like a beast out of "Where The Wild Things Are". 

Nap time is no better. She has told me countless times that she's just not tired but she'd be content to just play iPad while I take a nap. Does she really think that I would want my 3 year old to have the run of the house while I snooze away some of my exhaustion? That thought sends chills down my spine. Since the addition of preschool to my already insanely paced life, I have needed that nap more than a wino needs a bottle in a paper bag. And thus, a battle of the wills ensues that usually ends with me taking away said iPad for the rest of the day while she throws herself on the floor, sobbing. Which leaves us both exhausted and at odds. Surely there has to be a better way...

I remember when she was a baby and it took hours to get her to sleep. She rarely napped, and the seemingly 24/7 colic was wearing us both down, fully on the path to Crazytown with a fully packed bag. The pediatrician told me over and over again that it was just a phase and she would eventually stop the bedtime battles. This may be the longest phase in the history of the world. 

Maybe I just need to break out a copy of "Go The F*ck To Sleep" to remind me that I'm not the only one. Heck, even better, I'll pull up the YouTube video of Samuel L. Jackson reading it. That will always make me feel better.

Crazy Little Thing Called... Life

I'm looking at a week with minimal sleep. Can we say I'm going to be evil? Between my work schedule, dance class, and preschool, I'm going to only sleep for a few days this week. Eek! 

I truly worry for those in my path... :)

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished...

Do you ever feel, as a mother, like the world is unequal? Like you could bust your butt 24/7 and barely get a grunt as a thank you? That your days off work are not really days off?  I'm feeling like I have a heaping load of that right now. I think I can understand how someone spinning a dozen plates at a time must feel. 

Honestly, I think I'm pretty awesome. I juggle a full time job, single parenthood, fibromyalgia, a SO, and a house complete with two pets. I feel like crap a majority of the time but still manage to get the little one to preschool and dance, feed us all, go to work, and keep things held together. I'm sure there are people out there that are more worthy of the Bad Ass Award, but all in all, I do pretty well. My house may not be neat and tidy, but we are all alive and well at the end of the day.  What puzzles me is that after all of that, I get minimal help and no thank you's. Instead, I get told that I should do more. After work, the SO gets to chill and enjoy dinner and TV time. Whereas I am taking care of pets, doing laundry, doing dishes, then sleeping and starting over again. 

Here is my day off of work today. Got up with the little one, fed her breakfast, got the dog out, fed the pets. Drank some coffee, showered with the nugget, got dressed. Dog let out again. Left the house, picked up donuts, went to visit my mom in the rehab facility. Fed donuts to my mom, the little one, and mom's roommate, got them stocked up on Pepsi. Discharge planning meeting, took mom out for a little 'out of the old folk's home' time. Stopped by the store to get the roomie something. Went to Starbucks and painted all of our nails. Took mom back, got her off to physical therapy. Got her roomie tucked in, on the way to a doc appointment. Stopped for a snack for the little one, doc appointment. Ran to pharmacy to fill prescriptions, got home. Snack for the little one, dog out again. Started dinner, put dishes away. Did more dishes. Restarted dryer, ate dinner. More dishes, folded load of towels in the dryer, and put new load in. Fetched Popsicles for the kiddo and the boyfriend, dog out again. Changed kitty litter, got pjs for the small one. Put towels away, put up leftovers. Wiped counters, swept den. Restarted the dryer, got the little one ready for bed and in bed. Picked out outfit for preschool tomorrow. Replaced bulb in her nightlight, replaced batteries in the baby monitor. Dog out for what seems the millionth time, work email checked, dishes put away. That's just so far. And I don't do enough?

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just feeling unappreciated, not actually being unappreciated. I have the feeling though, that I'm not quite wrong about this. I know that the mamas of the world likely feel the same. So, what is the solution? Striking? Sucking it up? I don't quite know. Any ideas?